Log Entry 20: Taken from The Bureau's Lounge on 08/28/2017 at 21:42:26

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(After extensive research the music playing in the background is the end credits music from The [REDACTED]: Part 2)

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Alastor Hacon: (Sighs, then groans)

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Bria Midgette: What?

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Hacon: That movie... [REDACTED]ing sucked.

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Midgette: No, it didn't! That [REDACTED] was awesome!

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Hacon: I saw the first one and had a gut feeling that I should have avoided the second one. (Pause) I wish I listened to my gut.

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Melonie Sanders: What was wrong with it?

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Hacon: That was a complete character assassination of Joel. It just didn't make sense.

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Midgette: No, it wasn't!

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Hacon: Hell yeah, it was! Joel wasn't so careless with his personal information in the first movie. In this movie, he's just like: "My name's Joel! That's my brother Tommy! We've got a bunch of supplies back in our city of Jackson! Here's my email password, social security number–!"

 

Midgette: ...the hell is a "social security number"?

 

Hacon: "–and my phone and bank pin! Oh, and my surrogate daughter is immune to zombie bites and could be eviscerated to make a cure!  Oh! Almost forgot! Here's the key to my house! Go ahead and make yourself comfortable! While you're there, just go ahead and [REDACTED] my wife, since I'm sharing everything anyway!" None of this bull[REDACTED] makes any sense!

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(Melonie can be heard giggling)

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Ozzi Smithe: (Chewing on something crunchy; most likely popcorn.) Hm. I agree.

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Midgette: You're just mad cause he died.

 

Hacon: What–?! (Stutters) No! It's "how" and "why"  he died! There was no reason to torture him like that!

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Midgette: He deserved it for what he did! Every death after the first movie is his fault!

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(A collection of reactions from the four in the room clamor over each other.)

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Smithe: That is a hyperbole if I ever heard one.

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Sanders: I liked the first one, but this one feels kinda weird. I mean, I still like it, but "every death"?

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Midgette: He stopped the surgery on Millie that would have saved humanity! He's selfish!

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Smithe: That's oxymoronic; he risked his life against dozens of heavily armed men to stop the surgery and save Millie's life. He can't be selfish.

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Hacon: That, and there's no telling if the Lightning Bugs would use the cure for good, or if they could even make the cure. 

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Sanders: Did Joel have the right to choose for her, though?

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Hacon: Did the Lightning Bugs have the right either?

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Smithe: Yeah, they just scooped Millie up and were totally fine with sacrificing her without her consent.

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Melonie: Hm.

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(Several seconds of silence.)

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Midgette: At least we can agree that the ending [REDACTED]ing sucked.

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(The entire room agrees)